Podcast: Rise Above with Kevin Lanning | Blow & Blackouts: I Was Living a Double Life

Kat’s story isn’t just one of recovery—it’s a deep, raw, and ongoing transformation from chaos to clarity. Over nine and a half years into sobriety, she reflects not just on how she stopped drinking, but how she rebuilt her life, step by step, into one she no longer wants to escape.

A Life Rebuilt

Today, Kat travels the world, speaks about recovery, runs businesses, and stays active in the recovery community. She’s built a life of intention and purpose, free from the self-sabotage that once defined her. Her sobriety isn’t just about abstinence from substances. It’s about learning to do hard things, live responsibly, and stay spiritually grounded through daily habits.

Roots of Addiction and Early Struggles

Growing up in a suburb of Denver, Colorado, Kat remembers a childhood filled with anxiety, disconnection, and a feeling of not belonging. While her brother recalls happy memories, her reality was shadowed by loneliness and a constant sense of not being enough. She took her first real drink at 13 and immediately felt a switch flip: this was the missing piece. She chased that high for nearly two decades.

Despite excelling in school and athletics, Kat led a double life, high-performing on the outside, spiralling on the inside. Her ability to manipulate and hide her addiction became a skill she sharpened over years of drinking, using drugs, and lying to those closest to her.

Faith, Marriage, and Collapse

In college, Kat briefly found sobriety through church, meeting a man who would become her first husband. She stopped drinking, got married at 20, and began building a new life. But untreated spiritual and emotional wounds resurfaced. When alcohol reentered the picture, the consequences escalated. An affair shattered her marriage, and her addiction surged, now mixed with cocaine and MDMA. Her life became a blur of substance abuse, dishonesty, and self-loathing.

Hitting Bottom in California

Kat’s addiction reached its peak in California. After a drug dealer showed up at her brother’s home, endangering his family, she was kicked out. She considered suicide—but the thought of abandoning her dogs stopped her. In desperation, she remembered a woman from her gym who had once offered support. That call led her to Alcoholics Anonymous.

Finding Connection in the Rooms

Early sobriety wasn’t easy. Kat resisted sponsorship and the steps but kept showing up to meetings. At 90 days sober, she married a fellow newcomer in AA—an impulsive decision that quickly unraveled. When that relationship failed, she was finally ready to accept guidance. She found a sponsor and started working the program in earnest.

Through the 12 steps, Kat began to understand how much of her life had been driven by self-will, selfishness, and a need for control. Her healing came not just from abstaining, but from confronting the wreckage of her past.

Making Amends

One of the most powerful moments in Kat’s journey was making amends to her first husband. Years after their divorce, she flew to Colorado, faced him, and apologised—owning her behaviour without blame. That act not only brought her peace, it inspired others to face their own hard truths.

Chains to Changed: A Community is Born

In 2024, Kat launched Chains to Changed, a free online recovery community. What started as a small idea quickly grew to nearly 600 members worldwide. People from the UK, Australia, Canada, and Uganda join this anonymous, judgment-free space to get support, share goals, and find accountability.

Kat doesn’t see herself as a coach or influencer. She’s simply obeying a calling—creating what she wished existed when she was at her lowest. The platform offers daily calls, journaling prompts, and community check-ins. The goal: one addict helping another, for free.

Daily Habits and Discipline

Today, Kat’s life is highly structured. Her morning begins with an hour of prayer, Bible reading, journaling, and reflection—phone on airplane mode. She practices cold plunging, tracks her goals across mental, physical, and spiritual categories, and shows up daily for her sponsees and community.

Structure keeps her grounded. It helps her show up not just for herself, but for others. As she says, “Habits are everything. Show me someone’s habits, and I’ll show you their future.”

The Ripple Effect of Recovery

Kat’s transformation isn’t just personal—it’s communal. Her willingness to share, to be vulnerable, and to help others has created a ripple effect. Newcomers stay sober. Broken families are restored. Strangers feel seen. And through it all, Kat remains humble, reminding us: “The magic you’re looking for is behind the work you’re avoiding.”

Final Words to Her Younger Self

If Kat could speak to her 12-year-old self, she’d say:

“You are loved. You’re going to do big things. Even when you feel alone, you’re never truly alone. Keep going. The best is yet to come.”